so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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