marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Can I color on your dick again?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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