hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
