my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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