just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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