Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
