we're blogging at a bar
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
