He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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