Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
