sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
