i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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