If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
