There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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