shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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