After last night, I could never be a politician.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
