Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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