she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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