ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
