It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Randomize
