Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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