we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
