I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
