I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
