my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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