hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
