I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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