Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
