My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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