What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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