I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
These tits shall not be calmed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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