It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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