Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize