And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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