Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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