who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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