I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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