I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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