bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
