I want to walk on stilts...naked
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
