you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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