I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
