I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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