are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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