your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just pee around me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
