Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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(518): View more from New York

I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

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(419): View more from Ohio

i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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(703): View more from Virginia

drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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(806): View more from Texas

Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.

(303): View more from Colorado

Where are you???

(720): View more from Colorado

Yoga class :(

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