I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
