i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
