walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So vagazzling was a success
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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