That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
