i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
