After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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