"it" just moved
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
