i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
