I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
