Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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