So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
