If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
