dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
