Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
