i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
