He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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