What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
