Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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