I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
