shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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