I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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