ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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