have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
