come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
