I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
