Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
